| From : ymin (Young-Gie Min) Date : Tue May 19 10:04:19 1992 Subject: Beer - Men Ok, offensive or not, here is the beer-men joke which I promised to post. -Young ----------------------- 58 GOOD REASONS WHY A BEER IS BETTER THAN A MAN =============================================== 1. A beer NEVER leaves the toilet seat up. 2. A beer lasts longer than seven seconds. 3. A beer won't expect you to cook dinner when you're not hungry. 4. A beer will never expect you to sit in the wet spot IT makes. 5. A beer doesn't care if you go shopping. 6. A beer doesn't mind when your mother visits. 7. A beer does as many chores as a man, with a LOT less complaining. 8. Having a beer can't make you pregnant. 9. A beer won't tease you because you once liked Barry Manilow. 10. If a beer had a sports car, it wouldn't love it more than you. 11. A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers. 12. A beer doesn't sulk. 13. A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playbeer magazine. 12. A beer doesn't sulk. 13. A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playbeer magazine. 14. A beer won't switch the TV channel. 15. A beer doesn't have to sleep with the windows open. 16. A beer doesn't snore. 17. A beer can't interrupt. 18. A beer doesn't care that you can't find your car's carburetor. 19. A beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat. 20. A beer doesn't belch. Or fart. 21. A beer doesn't mind having pantyhose dry in the bathroom. 22. A beer doesn't care that you don't balance your checkbook. 23. A good beer is easy to find. 24. A beer can't pout. 25. A beer doesn't have a mother. 26. A beer doesn't have friends who will drink your beer. 27. A beer wouldn't yell if you dented the car. 28. A beer won't get jealous if you enjoy another beer. 29. A beer won't care if you gain five pounds. 30. A beer will be there for anytime of the month. 31. A beer doesn't want children. 32. A beer doesn't think poetry is queer. 33. A beer isn't ready until you're ready. 34. If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer. 35. Hangovers go away. 36. A beer tastes good. 37. Having a beer doesn't make you want to take a shower. 38. A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling. 39. A beer's life does not revolve around the football. 40. A beer would never make fun of your new outfit. 41. A beer never needs a shave. 42. You don't have to let a beer win. 43. A beer doesn't care what toppings you get on the pizza. 44. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you have to sleep with a beer too. 45. A beer doesn't have morning breath. 46. A beer is happy to go where ever you want to go. 47. A beer will never drink the last beer. 48. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it. 49. When a beer is finished, it doesn't roll over and go to sleep. 50. A beer wouldn't mind if you wanted it to wear a condom. 51. A beer is never temperamental. 52. A beer will never complain about your cooking. 53. A cold beer is a good beer. 54. A beer will never worry about losing its hair. 55. A big, fat beer is nice to have. 56. A beer won't steal the covers. 57. You don't have to laugh at a beer's jokes. 58. A beer won't mind at all if you're not in the mood for beer. -- | Kevin Schlegelmilch | Purdue should give me back half my | | schlege@cn.ecn.purdue.edu | tuition since I've missed half of | | schlege@lips1.ecn.purdue.edu | my classes. | -- Michael A. Atkinson | All opinions expressed herein are solely * mikea@casbah.acns.nwu.edu | those of my friend Buck the squirrel. mikea@nuacvm.acns.nwu.edu | Student Consultant, Academic Computing and mikea@NUACVM.BITNET | Network Services, Northwestern University |