| [ EnglishOnly ] in KIDS 글 쓴 이(By): guest (Guest) 날 짜 (Date): 1997년09월15일(월) 10시02분03초 ROK 제 목(Title): untitled I am writing this, expecting I can forget him from now on. I am sick of checking his idle time. I am also sick of being disappointed after I check e-mail with "u have new mail" message. No point to check his idle time. cuz, there is nothing i can do about. what if he is right next to his computer , or what if his idle time is like more that a day -obviously he is at home. That doesn't matter with me. For I don't see him. There was a time I was happy only to find out that he is at his office. (we are in the same building) I would expect to meet him. and yes. I did. We would talk on line and have a coffee break together. We would enjoy sun shine and talk about how my hair look nice under the sun. SOmething began to go wrong from some point of time. He went through tough time with his work and everything. He didn't reply me e-mail. He didn't get my talk message. He said he got my message but he couldn't see that. well. that happens. if u iconize that window (usually the console) and minimize that beep sound just like i did. he promised me everything should be fine after ..i don't even remember the date..thuogh it already passed. nothing is fine. i still bump into with him from time to time like once a couple of days.. He behaves exactly same with he used to. he smiles. he would ask me where u r going. and stuff. he would want to know where is my class and always say see you. habitual greetings. me? no way. I can't smile be kind or whatever. I was kept reminded of my un replied e-mails, ignored talk messages , and his promise. Once. he said I scared him. He is so weak. that is fine. the worst thing is he doesn't know I am fragile too. I saw his car parked. I sweared thousand times i won't check his idle time any more. After this posting, I hope I won't do.. never again. i'd better rename that finger command with other some very long and difficult one.. I was so happy after I learned from my friend that he likes me. Everything started so perfect. and it is about to be ended. no sorrow. we went out only twice.. I do remember his words. "i want to be a very nice friend" I was curious if he was emphasizinf "very nice" or "friend" but now he is neither my friend nor a stranger. He could never be my friend unless..*sigh* he is such a coward. I really want to smack him. I never seriously liked him , well, I didn't get chance to do, but I wanted to and i still kind of want to get to know him more. I am sorry things are getting worse..but this is it. I feel like being a little 12 years old girl.. I always was. though. I never grow up. |