| [ freeeXpression ] in KIDS 글 쓴 이(By): hseung (승 현석) 날 짜 (Date): 1994년06월15일(수) 11시33분50초 KDT 제 목(Title): << alt.religion.monica FAQ >> 위에 이레오님께서 모니카 뉴스그룹의 탄생배경에 대해 이미 자세히 설명했기 때문에 덧붙일 말은 없습니다. 한가지 틀린점이 있다면 alt.religion.monica FAQ의 저자는 정미연양이 아니고 남주희 어머님 의상실에 근무하시는 "혜자언니"입니다. 여기 그분이 쓰신 FAQ를 올려 드릴꼐요. 승 현석 -- hseung ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: hseung@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Rachael H. Seung) Subject: << alt.religion.monica FAQ >> Newsgroups: alt.religion.monica,soc.culture.korean Answers to Frequently Asked Questions on = alt.religion.monica = If you have questions and/or answers that seems more appropriate for this FAQ or would like to improve an answer, please send a self addressed e-mail to Rachael Heja Seung (hseung@seas.upenn.edu). ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Table of Contents ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Who is Monica and what is the purpose of this newsgroup? 2. How is alt.religion.monica different from soc.culture.korean? 3. What is the motto of alt.religion.monica? 4. What is "The Ten Commandments of Monica?" 5. What is "The Nine Suspicions of Monica?" 6. What is "The Twenty-One Reasons to Marry a Korean guy" by Monica? 7. Where is the essay titled "Modernized Traditional Women" by Monica? 8. Where can I find the famous poem called "kkeubung-i" by Monica? 9. Hmm, do you have that poem called "O!" by Monica? 10. What about the one called "A Day's Work" by Monica? 11. Where can I find the famous painting by Monica everyone is bidding on? 12. What is the debut article by Monica on soc.culture.korean? 13. Can Monica become confused sometimes? 14. Can I learn Korean history through Monica's writings? 15. What is the "Please call me" article by Monica? 16. What is the "Obba, bo se yo" article by Monica? 17. What is the "Orphan" article by Monica? 18. What is the farewell article by Monica on soc.culture.korean? 19. What is the dejavu article by Monica on soc.culture.korean? 20. What is the "Invitation" article to alt.religion.monica by Monica? 21. How do I make Monica-style kimchee? 22. Is there a ftp site that carries Monica GIFs? 23. How do I become the victim of on-line interrogation? 24. Can anyone translate Monica & Andrew's German conversation for me? 25. What is Monica Syndrome and its initial symptoms? 26. What is "The Things I want to clarify about Monica Chung" conspiracy? 27. What is "The Truth About Monica" conspiracy? 28. What is "The I Hate Monica" conspiracy? 29. What is "The Truth & Monica" conspiracy? 30. Who are on Monica's hit-list and what are their sins? 31. Do you have THE MONICAN DAILY? 32. A Parable by Monica. 33. Memorable Quotes by Monica. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Who is Monica and what is the purpose of this newsgroup? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monica Mi-Yeon Chung is the Venus of soc.culture.korean. In less than a month, Monica has become more famous and has more followers than Jesus, Buddha, Marx, and other net-gods combined. Even after her departure to convent, her thread and popularity has exponentially grown to the point where so-called "serious debates" have become virtually impossible. So far, there are three people confirming her existence, two claiming to have revealed the real person behind her mask, one semi-disgusted that he had to give up guitar group for her, one who is staring at the phone 24 hours a day, and several working at her Kkeobung-i Research Institute. alt.religion.monica is a radically retro-postmodernistic newsgroup devoted to discussing morality and subliminal messages of Monica Chung, such as: - art of kimchee making - developing attachment to dogs - how to smile the Monica way - underground poems and essays by subscribers - locating bagel stores in Korea - parallel parking - how to kiss your modem good night - on-line interrogation, and much much more! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2. How is alt.religion.monica different from soc.culture.korean? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- alt.religion.monica is a newsgroup of, about, and for our Monica. soc.culture.korean is for discussing serious issues concerning Korea and her culture. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3. What is the motto of alt.religion.monica? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- = alt.religion.monica = Luxury without fear. Fun without suspicion. Relax in a panic-free atmosphere! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4. What is "The Ten Commandments of Monica?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Smiling at strangers. 2. Going on a group tour in Han-river. 3. Taking "reserve-seat-buses" which are for yuppies. 4. Visiting Ap Gu Jung Dong. 5. Criticizing the men who look like nerds: they are the popular ones in Korea. 6 Dating a waiter or anyone who is not a college grad. 7. Arguing with guys (this applies to Korean-American males also). 8. Thinking aloud why almost all the Korean (and Kr-Am) guys have intellectual complex (inferior and superior). 9. Asking a guy why he has to ask his mother first (also apply to Kr-Am). 10. Developing attachment to a dog. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5. What is "The Nine Suspicions of Monica?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- (...with my own feelings regarding the matter). 1. Monica is a sister of Brian Chung. Highly likely, but Brian's sister is supposedly surviving in Seoul at the moment. 2. Monica is a younger sister of Theresa Chung. This is true! 3. Monica is a new sister to Rachael -- that's ME! Jiral YeopChaKhi HaGo ItNe... 4. Monica is Hyunsuk. Hyunsuk is a medical engineer (read: he has better things to do). 5. Monica is Rebecca's twin sister. Highly unlikely, since they have different surname; but then again Monica is an adoptee. 6. Monica is a real live person. This is also true! 7. Monica is a real live person and a female. This is truth! 8. Monica is a 6th generation computer rivaling HAL. HAL is not a bra-burning feminist. 9. Monica is Mindy. *^_^* ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6. What is "The Twenty-One Reasons to Marry a Korean guy" by Monica? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Twenty-One Reasons to Marry a Korean guy" (excerpt from Monica's latest bestseller book, THE MONICA) 1. he will fight for your freedom 2. he will eat anything 3. when his friends come over, you get to sit with them and drink 4. he will pierce his ear if you ask 5. he never says "there is no intellectual equal for me" 6. when his parents visit,they book themselves in a hotel 7. he never says "I could hit you...but will refrain" 8. he never gets drunk and sleeps in the street 9. he doesn't listen to Kenny G 10. he never eats fast nor stuffs himself 11. he never says "bring me a cup of water" 12. he doesn't call an electrician when changing light bulbs 13. he never says "see, that's why Koreans can't..." 14. he makes kimchee with you 15. he is hopelessly romantic 16. he likes your punk and gay friends 17. he will not shave his daughter's hair and lock her up 18. he always stops to ask for direction when lost 19. he has a different political view than his father 20. he never starts a sentence with "I used to be..." 21. he will not die early of heart attack, liver disease stomach cancer, lung cancer, high blood pressure, or diabetes. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7. Where is the essay titled "Modernized Traditional Women" by Monica? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Modernized Traditional Women" (excerpt from Monica's latest bestseller book, THE MONICA) It is one thing to recognize the beauty in traditional asian women role but to demand this kind role to women of today is another story. Of course you don't want a woman to walk three steps behind you, You want 'modernized traditional women". What exactly do you mean by this? Do you mean a college educated woman who stays home by her own choice, who doesn't raise her voice infront of you but silently endures and supports you with strength of her 'mind', who is intelligent enough to read "Little Prince", yet not too intelligent to be a threat to you? If you talk to Korean grandmothers who went through usual suffering and sacrifice of her time, you will find that they do not revere their past with kind of sentiment you have. They wish that for once, they could yell at their husbands whom they sacrificed without much reward. They wish they had careers to fulfill their dreams besides the pulchritude and nobleness of homemaking and child rearing. If your statement, 'women who complain so much about male chauvinism are the ones who are not secure themselves" is correct, then I guess same goes for men who complain about career women. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8. Where can I find the famous poem called "kkeubung-i" by Monica? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here is a personal copy obtained through underground e-mail. "kkeubung-i" by Monica Mi-Yeon Chung kkeubung-i, kkeubung-i, where are you? in a full moon night, you used to hide behind the innocent tree, "they call me a son of the collaborator" and you wept so bitterly my heart was with you kkeubung-i, kkeubung-i, where are you? in your agony of sleepless night your face shyly buried between fragile shoulders "mom, mom, I am not a pseudointellectual, am I, mom?" and your handsome face glistened with tears my heart was with you kkeubung-i, kkeubung-i, where are you? in mist of autumnal wind your clinched hands holding the fate of the nation "I must go, I must go!" and your eyes soared high my heart was with you kkeubung-i, kkeubung-i, where are you? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9. Hmm, do you have that poem called "O!" by Monica? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "O!" by Monica Mi-Yeon Chung O, bright ruby, ruby you are so pretty your crimson grace gently shining through the well kept window O, ruby, ruby may I just kiss you lightly O, soft sapphire, sapphire you are so pretty your prussian dignity imposing on a velvet floor O, sapphire, sapphire may I just touch you a little O, lustrous diamond, diamond you are so pretty your arctic supreme bliding my vision O, diamond, diamond let me just adore you - This poem is dedicated to the manager of Tiffany, Mr. Kleinman, who kindly let me go many times. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10. What about the one called "A Day's Work" by Monica? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Kkeubung-i II" (aka "A Day's Work") by Monica Mi-Yeon Chung kkeubung-i, kkeubung-i I worry and worry about you your blazing determination flaming high in noon of a working man did you take your whal mung soo today? kkeubung-i, kkeubung-i I worry and worry about you marching in your anarchism under the oppresive sky your pregnant pause on the sidewalk did you take your yong kak san today? kkeubung-i, kkeubung-i I worry and worry about you your stride echoing high your journey's miles to go did you take your bak ka ss today? kkeubung-i, kkeubung-i I worry and worry about you ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11. Where can I find the famous painting by Monica everyone is bidding on? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Note: The following painting has been sold. * * * * * * * * ****** * * **** * ****** * * * * * * * ************* * * * * * * * * ********* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ********************* ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12. What is the debut article by Monica on soc.culture.korean? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 10590 of soc.culture.korean: From: mchung@waltz.seas.upenn.edu (Monica Mi-Yeon Chung) Newsgroups: soc.culture.korean Subject: Re: an article on Korean born adoptees Message-ID: <100482@netnews.upenn.edu> Date: 4 Dec 92 08:34:58 GMT References: <1992Dec2.153530.20623@udel.edu> Organization: University of Pennsylvania Lines: 21 shin@krusty.ee.udel.edu (Jeong-Gyun Shin) writes: >Netters (ladies?) who read McCalls magazine know it already. I was flipping >thru cookie recipes of December issue of McCalls magazine (don't ask why; >also, no, I don't subscribe nor read this magazine; my wife got one from a >friend), and there's an article about Korean born adoptees going to visit >Korea in order to try to find out little bit of their heritage, etc. Nothing >new, but gives some flashes on making tragedy. I guess you, or majority of Koreans think it as tragedy. I do admit that I wished my real parents were able to bring me up. But I am quite happy as I am. Yes, I've been adopted to an American family when I was 10, and only recently I changed my name to my original last name. It isn't such a tragedy if you think in terms of people who are involved although korean newspapers and media only produce the sad and ugly stories of such cases. I don't deny that such cases exist in large numbers, but there is also a case like me. The way Korean society is, it will be hard to change the stigma attached behind adoption. But it will change with time, I hope. Mi-Yeon ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 13. Can Monica become confused sometimes? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 12353 of soc.culture.korean: From: mchung@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Monica Mi-Yeon Chung) Newsgroups: soc.culture.korean Subject: Re: After the death of ... Message-ID: <109299@netnews.upenn.edu> Date: 12 Feb 93 16:21:39 GMT References: <1993Feb2.162046.4171@news.cs.brandeis.edu> Organization: University of Pennsylvania Lines: 14 tchoi@binah.cc.brandeis.edu writes: >After the death of Jojo, Samkukji lost its turbulent, chaotic and >its coloful development. Only the left were few futile trials. >Is SCK suffering from the same thing after the death of James? >Where are Northern Orangkaes who made chaotic development again in >the wide and wild land after the short era of Chin? Pardon my ignorance, but what part of S. Korea is Samkukji and who is Jojo? And what does Jojo's death anything to do with James' death? He is dead? And when was this era of Chin? Who is James anyway? Thoroughly confused and distracted... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 14. Can I learn Korean history through Monica's writings? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 12404 of soc.culture.korean: From: mchung@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Monica Mi-Yeon Chung) Newsgroups: soc.culture.korean Subject: Re: University Crisises? Message-ID: <109540@netnews.upenn.edu> Date: 15 Feb 93 01:37:56 GMT Organization: University of Pennsylvania Lines: 16 tchoi@binah.cc.brandeis.edu writes: >I can hardly understand why trying to go to a good school is a disease. >Could you explain why it is a disease? >For me, it has been a Korean way which make people study (work) hard >for a long >time (say 700 years) and I can't see a harmful effect or anything like that. >I also think it provides the fairest way of selecting qualified people >based on their own abilities instead of other people's (parents) money >or blood. > >Giltsu Choi. It is hard to believe that there are some people who would categorize hard working spirit as a disease. I amen to the quoted lines except one point. What is this 700 years all about? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 15. What is the "Please call me" article by Monica? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 12578 of soc.culture.korean: From: mchung@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Monica Mi-Yeon Chung) Newsgroups: soc.culture.korean Subject: Please call me Message-ID: <9302230321.AA23632@eniac.seas.upenn.edu> Date: 23 Feb 93 03:21:21 GMT Organization: University of Pennsylvania Lines: 18 First I want to apologize to everyone for posting a personal matter but I am left with no other choice. So please forgive me. This is a letter to my brother, please skip if you don't want to be bothered. Dear Obba I do not understand why you are not receiving my phone calls anymore. I left so many messages to you without receiving any calls or emails. It has been two weeks since your last call, telling me "you are a shame to our ancestors". What do you mean by that? What did I do? I am very hurt and confused. I think you should at least give me an explanation. Obba! I am sorry to post this letter here, but your silence was too much for me to bear. Please talk to me or at least drop me an email. If you don't contact me soon, I am afraid that you will read more letters on the net. I love you and miss you so much. Please understand. your Monica 'a gi' dongsaeng ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 16. What is the "Obba, bo se yo" article by Monica? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 12592 of soc.culture.korean: From: mchung@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Monica Mi-Yeon Chung) Newsgroups: soc.culture.korean Subject: Please ignore.(Obba, bo se yo) Message-ID: <9302230935.AA19229@eniac.seas.upenn.edu> Date: 23 Feb 93 09:35:50 GMT Organization: University of Pennsylvania Lines: 25 This is another personal letter. I am terribly sorry to post it again. Please ignore, if you can. Dear Obba It's nearly four o'clock in the morning and I haven't received any call from you. After you sent a impersonal email containing just one sentence, "Don't post any more articles", I called you four times only to be greeted by your answering machine. I know you are there. Why don't you talk to me, obba? I went through a lot of thinking but still don't know why you are angry at me. Obba, we've been so close until two weeks ago. Obba, you are the one who taught me how to read and write. Although you are only a year older than I, as you told me numerous times, I was and am little dim and you were a child prodigy. You taught me how to dress and what kind of make up to use. When I grew little plump in my high school year, you are the one who bought those diet pills and made me exercise. Due to you, I always looked great. Do you remember the time you took me to Led Zeppelin concert? I was scared because it was my very first rock concert and everyone looked crazy . You held my hand all throughout the concert. You taught me so much. Without you I wouldn't have much memory to hold on to. Without you I am nothing. I will be waiting, obba. Your obba's girl, Monica (P.S. You do know the date of my departure, don't you?) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 17. What is the "Orphan" article by Monica? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 12625 of soc.culture.korean: From: mchung@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Monica Mi-Yeon Chung) Newsgroups: soc.culture.korean Subject: Orphan Message-ID: <9302240247.AA23304@eniac.seas.upenn.edu> Date: 24 Feb 93 02:47:26 GMT Organization: University of Pennsylvania Lines: 17 My dearest obba did not call me. He knows that today is the last day he can contact me, but ...I guess I am a shame to him. So, everyone, I am a little orphan girl. Take a look at me. Let me sing a song for you in words of Shosha (I. Singer)-I don't remember the exact words) Her name was noodle his name was bean they got married on Friday and nobody came Monica Miyoon Chung mchung@eniac.seas.upenn.edu ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 18. What is the farewell article by Monica on soc.culture.korean? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 12634 of soc.culture.korean: From: mchung@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Monica Mi-Yeon Chung) Newsgroups: soc.culture.korean Subject: Farewell... Message-ID: <9302240502.AA07990@eniac.seas.upenn.edu> Date: 24 Feb 93 05:03:09 GMT Organization: University of Pennsylvania Lines: 23 Dear obba dl in sck You probably wondered why I posted so many articles these days. It's because I am leaving soon. Today is my last day as a normal free person. I have to go back to my convent where I spent more than nine years all together. I know you donUt believe any of this, but I feel compel to write it here because you have been one of my rare connection to the real world. Except my early childhood, I was in and out of the convent due to my parent's wish. I know my articles werenUt nun-like, thatUs because I am not a official nun yet. Becoming a nun is a long ordeal. I finally decided to be a nun about seven month ago and still have a year to go until the official ceremony. From now on I wouldn't be able to come out and live in the society aas I frequently did before time to time. So, here is my farewell to you, obba dl. I would like to apologize to Brian Chung for being accused of my obba from many people. Brian, I wish you are my obba who defends me in every corner. Andrew S.H. Kim, Thank you for all your romance:) You should delete all your middle names and just use Tannhauser. It fits you. I also like to thank Byuntae and Youngwhan Lee for tolerating me. JCHO obba, thank you for clarifying my existence. Also, Thank you , Kevin GIOR for sharing your Han Seuk Bong complex. I am eternally grateful to James Choi for believing in me. Thank you, all sck kkeubung-is :), you made my last visit to the world enjoyable. Thank you, obba dl and some ajeu-ci dl. Good bye everyone. Monica Mi-Yeon Chung P.S. I wouldn't be able to read any emails, so please just post in sck. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 19. What is the dejavu article by Monica on soc.culture.korean? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 13426 of soc.culture.korean: From: mchung@rahul.net (Monica Mi-Yeon Chung) Newsgroups: soc.culture.korean Subject: Hello Everyone!!! Message-ID: <199303160735.AA20151@bolero.rahul.net> Date: 16 Mar 93 07:35:43 GMT Sender: daemon@cs.utexas.edu Organization: St. Francis Xavier Library/ Brington/MA Lines: 31 Dear Kkeubung-is Hello, obba-dle, I am so glad to be back! How is everyone?!! It is pass midnight and everyone is asleep. The people doesn't like me here already. I am the only one who is under forty except this one nun and the kitchen helper, "Lily". It's a very small old convent with the nearest neighbor being ten miles away. I am not use to this kind of settings. All other convents I have been to were relatively modernized ones. But I get to go to the town every Friday morning with Father Joseph who visits here on weekend to run errands. Last Friday, we went to the library, and by chance I found the information on this unix site. Needless to say, I was jubilant. Nobody knows that I am using it though. Sister J spotted my modem and asked me what it was. I told her it's a machine that detects any virus in the computer. She just said, "virus? oh, that must be very useful." They were at first very against me having the computer in my room or any where in the convent and tried to take away from me but I just hanged on to it dearly and cried. After I typed up the weekly invoice for Sister J, nobody said anything anymore. This place is so backward. I am always grounded for unknown reasons. They make me scrub the floor. It's a concrete floor with rough surface and I am suppose to kneel down to clean it. After hours of this ordeal, my knees are swollen and painfully hurt. My only friend "Lily", the kitchen helper, brings me the steamed eucliptic towel for my knees. She has a sweet pudgy face with a short hair. I call her "artichoke." So this is my life....you are my only connection to the outer world. How is it out there? Monica Mi-Yeon Chung ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 20. What is the "Invitation" article to alt.religion.monica by Monica? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 14014 of soc.culture.korean: From: mchung@rahul.net (Monica Mi-Yeon Chung) Newsgroups: soc.culture.korean Subject: Invitation Message-ID: <199303252215.AA15873@bolero.rahul.net> Date: 25 Mar 93 22:15:23 GMT Organization: St. Francis Xavier Library/ Brighton/MA Lines: 24 Social Culture Korean is for healthy intelligent communication. I realize and repent that most of my articles don't fit in here. I sincerely apologize to everyone for being an irritant that just keep coming back. I also like to apologize to anyone who was offended by my articles. Therefore I retract my steps from sck to the playground some sympathetic souls provided. I am submitting my invitation. ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Have you ever got caught stealing cartoon books? Have your brother toldyou that you are "some loathsome vermin fit only for extermination" ? Were you allergic to your mother's milk? Was your very first word," no" ? Does your sister pretend she doesnt know you when she is with her friends? Your parents moved two years ago and you are still searching for their address? Does your friends hush when you pass by? Have some stranger adviced you to let out hems of your jeans? Does your communist friend criticize your Georgio Armani suit? Did your therapist tell you to never come back? Your priest broke the vow of confession and told the police? I cordially invite all the Me!s to alt.religion.monica to be none the less than yourselves and selves to share the experience of hypereality, to regress to the comfort of fetal position, to unpretentiously wear black turtleneck, and to obsessively love each other. I humbly invite you to rest your whereful souls in peaceful a.r.m. Submissively yours, Monica ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 21. How do I make Monica-style kimchee? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- The words speak for themselves... and Monica sez: Most of the kimchee jars stored in refrigerator in stores are fresh due to prompt refrigeration after filling the jar. You need to keep the jar in room temperature for a day or two (depending on the room temperature and your taste) for it to ferment. Keep in mind that you should keep the lid slightly opened when leaving it out in room temperature because if you don't then kimchee-gookmul will shoot out on you when you open it a day or two later due to pressure created by carbon dioxide production during fermentation of kimchee. Kimchee under refrigeration undergoes fermentation very slowly, so you need not worry about over-fermented kimchee when you are buying from the korean stores. Yah, I am sure Woody once bought a over-fermented kimchee from the store and he had to give it all to his cow or something... But normally, you would get a fresh jar and one must leave it out in room temperature. :) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 22. Is there a ftp site that carries Monica GIFs? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- *CENSORED* ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 23. How do I become the victim of on-line interrogation? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Mentioning netiquette. 2. Talking about cows. 3. Dot forward hacking. 4. Harrasing Monica in private. 5. Claiming senseless ownership. Thus, our motto (see question 3). ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 24. Can anyone translate Monica & Andrew's German conversation for me? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 12623 of soc.culture.korean: From: mchung@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Monica Mi-Yeon Chung) Newsgroups: soc.culture.korean Subject: Re: why? Message-ID: <9302240232.AA21428@eniac.seas.upenn.edu> Date: 24 Feb 93 02:32:37 GMT Organization: University of Pennsylvania Lines: 45 btlee@emx.cc.utexas.edu (Byungtae Lee) writes: > I am just regretting for having not studied hard Germany in > my high scholl. > Let Andrew and Mnica keep enlightening us if you do not mind much, will ya? > If you want to contribute something, I guess, you can translate their > writing into lay"person"'s language. Byuntae obba! I will translate them for you, o.k.? [Andrew ajeu-c]: oh, despair! oh, despair! no one loves me I shall die! Somebody somebody just kill me! [Monica-Venus]: oh, my love, get up and look into my eyes you will find your salvation you will find love you will never die of thirst oh,love, I shall embrace you till eternity [Andrew ajeu-c] Me? you really mean that? Ya shin nan da!!!Venus choi go! -------------------------------------------------------------------- That was the translation for the laymen. Here is the translation for women. [andrew-Tannhauser] If god should turn against me, no pardon can I win. To Rome I take the journey, and there repent afresh to kneel in dust and ashes, and mortify my flesh. [Monica-Venus] Your prayer will not save you and peace will escape you; come back to me when all hope has gone. [Andrew-Tannhauser] For now man and his church have cursed me, come to me, Venus, show the way! [Monica-Venus] Now that you come again to find me so I forgive your foolish pride, come then, freely take your fill of pleasure, and never seek to leave my side --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monica Chung |O man! The world is deep. mchung@eniac.seas.upenn.edu |Thus Spake Zarathusta, No.59, Nietzsche ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 25. What is Monica Syndrome and its initial symptoms? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Now I would say we s.c.k. netlanders being pretty silly creating this newsgroup. I admit I was one of those who wanted to have this newsgroup created. However, silly is silly. I call this sillyness 'Monican Syndrom.'" - Youngwhan Lee "I love to sing the above music everyday, and in my mind i replace 'christ' and 'god' with something abosolute, something i'll never understand, somthing so high." - W. Woody Jin "...is there a predominant religion in Korea? If so, what is it?" - Sarah Wallace "I have visited the Clark Street Burger King many times, and I always felt something holy when I was there." - Karen Kent "For those of you who will undoubtedly find something symbolic in the order in which these posts have been written, I can only say that as a properly reared Korean woman I am posting three paces behind my boyfriend :)" - Arlene Jiyoung Kim "...Can anyone teach me how to do 'cucumber massage?'" - Daeshik Kim "Mom knows best." - Gior Kevin Kyu-Sik "I don't think I am a crybaby anymore." - Mindy Lee "Your mother must be very proud." - Ted Faber "Monica!!! Get a life!!! You post more often than you read your email!!! C'mon! Get to it! Read my letter! Reply to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - Gard Abrahamsen "She has my calling card number and she uses it freely even though I only gave it to her for emergencies only." - Henry E Chon "...I really like korean guys - they are great, just like any other great guy." - Hannah Moon "Coincedently, or due to the nature of history, echo of manse! manse! and more manse! is heard throughout to liberate Monica by several Monica-dok-lib-oon-dong-gah whose support ranges from phone card to prayer." - Gag-Lae Kurtis Kim "Please forgive me. I did not know I fell in love with that lady. P.S. Do not tell this to my wife. Please." - Byungtae Lee "WHAT A MAN WHO IS CRAZY TO MONICA...!!!" - Han-Jung Kim "I knew there were some strings attached to this sudden promotion. Yet, I shall fulfill my duty as an Archbishop and see my head fall off in the end, for I prefer to be a snake's head than a dragon's tail..." - Scott Choi "WOW.. I am here!.. I can't believe my eyes.." - Gwan Choi von Champaign "A cat is eating a fish in the outskirts of a market. A dog is endlessly barking just around the corner. And a rabbit is gorging a frozen shrimp inside a trash can. Why on a happy day like today is Monica nowhere to be seen? Even the fleas living within this keyboard are laughing at my scribblings." - Hyunsuk Seung "Hey, everyone! I am going out to dance...anyone care to join? Look for me...I am the one wearing too much black..." - Mindy Lee "Hey, Steve Roh, check this out." - Brian Chung "Monica! Wee weee weee your skirt at me! Heheheheh..." - Steve Roh "Is it okay to just let it sit on the table while he pours?" - Jonggu Moon "i usually hold the glass with both hands." - Nancy Kwak "I'll scrub the floor for 3 days for this while Monica takes break." - Yongsup Park "How about considering changing your sexual preferences?" - Mindy Lee "Hahahahahahhah! Thanks, but no thanks, never,never,never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never..." - Sang Kyun Han "This excessive denying is very suspicious." - James Choi "Don't suspect a friend. Report him." - Roland Seung "What can a poor guy do in Korea for fun?" - Haemin Dennis Park "There are a lot of cheap, interesting stuff to buy. There are also a lot of nice, expensive things to look at." - John Chun "You are meeting those who skate on a sewage stream whenever you meet anyone over 35... some ducks were there too." - Kim Kim "So you are hungry. You don't have any idea how to get money... It may be not bad as long as it is legal." - Youngwhan Lee "It is no use crying over spilt milk." - Whang Sung-Keun "Is it alright to open it in the isle and taste it?" - Sang J. Moon "I am your shrimp eating rabbit." - Rebecca Seung "Good luck on your food hunting." - Dongchul Lim "What's wrong with pink shirt, yellow pants with purple polka dots on it, and white dress shoes..." - Gior Kevin Kyu-Sik "I didn't know posting can help relieve stress." - Edward So "That's it from now on I will start posting 10 different views on any subject..." - Andrew Sung Hyun Kim "Think this newsgroup as a coctail party." - Haemin Dennis Park "If you can't post any, then at least let me have some fun." - Jung S. Lee "...I did not leave. I haven't. I won't." - Doo Heon Song "I just finished going through 200+ articles piled up this past weekend..." - Andrew K. Hwang "'THE' Andy Kim... I got this 'THE' from Gae-La Kim, as offering to me self-diefied net.god." - Andrew Sung Hyun Kim "...please refrain from using THE. Try using public domain articles such as A or AN. THE is not for everyone." - THE regulator, secret TURF agent "I am very bothered by Mr. Andrew Sung Hyun Ernst Kim's behavior to monopolize 'Andy Kim.'" - Andrew Taeyon Kim "We Andy's at AKA suggest Mr. Andy Kim of Evanston to drop his lawsuit against Mr. Andy Kim of NY immediately." - Andy Kim "I was there at the kimchee tears miracle. It was I who noticed that the time was precisely 3:33pm. I don't know what made me check my watch just then, but some force was within me." - Matthew Dick "Last night, I couldn't go to sleep 'cause I forgot to..." - Munho Yi "My name is Laurion Burchall. In my entire life [only] *one* person has managed to spell it correctly without my telling them how." - Laurion Burchall "...she is not the Venus but a Mentor to me." - Nina Kim "This is the only religion that gave me a job right away." - James Choi "Monilluyah!!!" - Andrew Taeyon Kim ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 26. What is "The Things I want to clarify about Monica Chung" conspiracy? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 12964 of soc.culture.korean: From: ta-chung@cory.Berkeley.EDU (Ta-Chung Wu) Newsgroups: soc.culture.korean Subject: Things I want to clarify about Monica Chung Message-ID: <1993Mar4.142229.5838@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU> Date: 4 Mar 93 14:22:29 GMT Organization: University of California, at Berkeley Lines: 39 I am posting this message for a friend and I have no clue whatsoever what this message is all about. So DON'T respond to this account. You'll be just wasting your time and clogging the network traffic. And I won't understand what you are talking about. --------------- Message begins -------------------------------- If you guys are talking about the same Monica Mi-Yeon Chung who supposely attended "prestigious Exter" and UPenn, read on; otherwise just skip. I was just going to shut up, but since you guys are even thinking of creating a newsgroup for her, here is my opinion. First,as a alumni of University of Pennsylvania (Wharton), I want to clarify that Monica only attended Upenn for awhile as a conditionally admitted student and from what I heard, was expelled from school after she flunked most of her courses. Therefore she is NOT a University of Pennsylvania student. Also since she was not officially a UPenn student, she was NOT suppose to have a computer account. But as she use to brag to everyone she just "charmed her advisor to let her have a account." After she got an account, she faked postings and used her *friends* accounts while they left the terminal unattended. I know at least three cases like this, one of them being my close friend who was terriably humiliated after Monica posted a few articles in her favorite newsgroup. The one of the incident was reported and she only received a warning. There are many other incidents Monica created that just proved herself to be a small time con artist. I was told that her account at Penn was permanently removed. I don't know whether this was due to someone's report of her dubious actions or her admission statue. I am just glad she will not be able to further waste my school's money and dishonor its reputation. Even though she did not do anything criminal in this newsgroup, it's morally wrong to intentionally disturb a newsgroup from having sincere discussions. Enough talk about someone making a fool out of herself.... P.S. Get a life Monica! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 27. What is "The Truth About Monica" conspiracy? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 12873 of soc.culture.korean: From: choi@crhc.uiuc.edu (Gwan) Newsgroups: soc.culture.korean Subject: THE TRUTH ABOUT MONICA ****************************** Summary: no need for summary Message-ID: <1muie2INN3og@glass.crhc.uiuc.edu> Date: 2 Mar 93 02:57:06 GMT Organization: Center for Reliable and High-Performance Computing, University of\ Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Lines: 56 Our independent investigation coalition (can't reveal each participating member for security reasons) reveals that all following aliases/names belong to a SAME person: mchung Monica Chung Theresa Chung Mi-Yeon Chung Nancy Kwak kwak Nina Kim Hyunsuk kim_nl Woody Jin wjin Cow an14301 nun nunnary nunnery nunary nuny loony 256F37A gk31 SEEKER OF TRUTH Gag-Lae Kim James Choi The truth... There was a guy(?) from Northwestern university (Evanston, Illinois) who becomes obssessed with cows creates a phony login at another southern university and, begins his obnoxious operations under various fake aliases and names to confuse and deviate Korean, Korean-American and American-Korean community from their central directives and key issues of sck. (sentence too long?) He(it) becomes suspect of many strange things(mostly ideas) for many other people on the net when he(it) decides to steer the attention away to something(someone) else so that his(its?) cover won't blow. Thus, creating many many phony characters and bizzarr stories about them (root of Monica's story). While quite entertaining, this whole mess has become a detrimental epidemic for this community(sck) and, damage to (loss of) credibility of EVERY ONE in this group is not reversible. That is the sad truth.... Good day, B) Gwan ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 28. What is "The I Hate Monica" conspiracy? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 6 of alt.religion.monica: From: hseung@retina.anatomy.upenn.edu (Roland H. Seung) Newsgroups: alt.religion.monica,soc.culture.korean Subject: I hate Monica Message-ID: <112725@netnews.upenn.edu> Date: 5 Mar 93 21:59:01 GMT Organization: Dept. of Neuroscience, U. of Pennsylvania Lines: 31 I hate monica. This multifacted yet strangely one-dimensional girl has rumored to capture the hearts of every Korean pseudointellectuals in the modem community. Has the state of our society reached the point where sole entertainment is found among Monica's silly psycho babblings?! Her numerous articles goes further than revealing her shallow brain. They leave an awkward taste in my mouth that can only be cured by a gulp of Scope. She is a fungus and an explicit symbol of our culture's on-going deterioration. Just two weeks ago, I happen to run into her at the university book store. She asked me why I've been avoiding her lately. I told her that I couldn't stand self-centered girls like her who ignores the trait of her ancestors and doesn't even bother to take any initiative towards the matter. As I expected, her face turned bright red and replied with an air of hostility, "Roland, I'm an Amerikan both body and soul. I hate patriotic FOBs like you. You're just like that crippled old man in the public bus back in Seoul who lectured me for half an hour how air-headed I was after prying into an intimate English conversation I was having with my really really tall guy friend from Lice University. He can beat you up if I call him up, so don't you dare spit while you talk to me, you FOB! In fact, the more I think of you, the more I'm convinced you're a SOB than a FOB! Now get out of my sight if you don't mind!!!" People, I must confess it was me who reported her morally offending actions to her system administrator that resulted in vaporization of her account. If anyone is complaining about her disappearance, I urge you to get a life. It's a shame that she knows me personally, but it will change with time, I hope. Roland! :!wq ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 29. What is "The Truth & Monica" conspiracy? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 20 of alt.religion.monica: From: hseung@retina.anatomy.upenn.edu (Roland H. Seung) Newsgroups: soc.culture.korean,alt.religion.monica Subject: Truth & Monica (was Re: FAQ 2nd Edition) Message-ID: <116354@netnews.upenn.edu> Date: 28 Mar 93 02:51:23 GMT Organization: Dept. of Neuroscience, U. of Pennsylvania Lines: 19 jfe@alchemy.TN.Cornell.EDU (Brian Chung) writes: [excellent article deleted] Yo Brian! You failed to mention Gag-Lae Kurtis Kim (aka "THE SEEKER OF TRUTH" and TRY underwear collector) in your Joke FAQ. He is the ultimate God of Deception. Not only does he go by an American name of "Kurtis," he is also the "Monica" from UPenn. I have many proofs to back this up, but clever readers might have already realized when Monica logged into her UPenn account from Columbia during her final moments last month. The current Monica from "mchung@rahul.net" is only an imitation, although very carefully done by a Monica-follower in Johns Hopkins. Hope this sheds light on anyone who seeks the truth. Roland! :wq ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 30. Who are on Monica's hit-list and what are their sins? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "This is what Monica's finger info. looks like.." - Joon-Sung Lee "okay, i did a little research and think i know who monica really is." - Nancy Kwak "...hopefully, I will complete the alt.religion.monica jargon file before I leave." - Brian Chung "Woo la la! Monica! Love your kinky smile! Woof Woof Woof! Hehehehe.." - Steve Roh "You guys make a mailing list so that you may enjoy 'Obba..' stuff everyday." - Woody Jin "Immediately ban the inside joke FAQ and Monica including all meta-discussion on them from s.c.k." - Edward So "I don't think she exists anymore..." - Gwan Choi von Champaign "No, dammit, you can't do this to me, woman!" - Brian Chung "I have heard of some irreponsible people who walked out of marriage, or parenthood. But creating a religion and then abandoning it tops them all." - James Choi "I believe in Monica because I know who he is." - Alex Shrom "Ahahahahahaha! Holy Woody's Cow!" - Andrew Taeyon Kim ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 31. Do you have THE MONICAN DAILY? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Haemin Dennis Park kindly typed the following excerpt from THE MONICAN DAILY. _________________________________________________________________________ | (one day short to be Friday) 13th of May, 1993 | | | | STEVE ROH TO BE ARRESTED | | by our AG (Associate Gossip) correspondent Ma Lo Chung (tm) | | | | This morning, (one day short to be Friday) 13th of May, the | | spokeperson of net.police, Vera Marmanta (tm), announced that Mr. | | Steve Roh will be arrested for kicking Mr. Jung Lee out of s.c.k. | | therefore disturbing the free speech code guaranteed in the net.land. | | | | Mr. Jung Lee is known to be the founding father of Junglian | | psychology, a new branch of psychology that will soon replace Freudian| | analysis. He is also known to be the only high quality poster of | | s.c.k. with some philosophy with depth, unlike Hyung Woo, another | | high quality poster who has not had much success. Mr. Lee has been | | playing the role of ya-dang in s.c.k. supporting democracy and encou- | | raging new-netters to stand up for their rights against the fierce | | autocrat power structure of s.c.k. | | | | According to Ms. Marmanta, appearence of Mr. Roh brought dis- | | ilusion to Mr. Jung Lee, who later lost his hope for a true democracy | | and retired from s.c.k. She also mentioned that Mr. Mark Jabhara(tm) | | will be his persecuter. It is a well known fact that Mr. Jabhara is | | the most harsh persecuter of net.police and Steve Roh is very unlikely| | to be veredicted not guilty. | | | | continued on page 33 | |_______________________________________________________________________| | | | Have you been sued by someone lately? | | Have you been wanting to sue someone lately? | | Have you been worrying about your dual-citizenship lately? | | Have you been worrying about someone stealing your tm lately? | | Have you been charged of non-existent sexual harassment lately? | | Have you been sexualy harassed by the opposite or same sex lately? | | | | If you answered yes to one or more questions above, you're in trouble.| | You'd better call us, ChChL&D Law Firm, NOW. Otherwise your life is | | hammered (in-saeng mang-chi-da). You're just a phone call away from | | saving your life. Our new phone number is 1-800-HARASSS. It shows | | our confidence to defend against the law suit from SNL production. | | | | WE ARE THE DOOR TO FREEDOM. | | WE ARE THE WAY FOR A BETTER LIVING. AND | | WE ARE THE LIFE TO SAVE YOUR LIFE. | | | | CH CH L & D --- the law firm the way it supposed to be | |_______________________________________________________________________| | | | New Psychiatric Center in net.land!!! | | We specialize from Freudian to Junglian psychic analysis | | If you have been wondering about how your childhood experiences are | | influencing your present life, or cannot get out of the depression | | and/or loneliness, this is time to call us at 1-800-MURIAPA. | | Only Discover is accepted !!! | |_______________________________________________________________________| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 32. A Parable by Monica. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 183 of alt.religion.monica: From: mchung@rahul.net (Monica Mi-Yeon Chung) Newsgroups: alt.motd,alt.religion.monica Subject: Parable: What is life? I Message-ID: <C53J1w.un@rahul.net> Date: 7 Apr 93 04:27:31 GMT Organization: St. Francis Xavier Library Lines: 18 Once upon a time, there lived Old Tree and tiny Limping Mushroom. One day, Old Tree said to Limping Mushroom, "if I wasn't here, you wouldn't have ever existed." Limping Mushroom said nothing. Old Tree went on, "don't you dare lean your slimy face on me, I will shriek until all the birds peck on you." Our tiny Limping Mushroom said nothing. Old Tree said, "Under the grace of my wing, you survive like a parasite!" Limping Mushroom said nothing. Old Tree went on and on. Finally Limping Mushroom thought to herself, "You have a cleft lip and I can hardly understand what you are saying..." *Disclaimer: Old Tree does NOT symbolize sck. Monica ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 32. Memorable Quotes by Monica. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "...please don't flame me." "What did I do?" "a i moo seu wo......" "Good thing there was kimchi gook mul near by." "No wonder none of intelligent women ever post in this newsgroup. - that is, except myself." "When I grew little plump in my high school year, you are the one who bought those diet pills and made me exercise." "So, everyone, I am a little orphan girl." "I will be waiting, obba." "can we just get along? please?" "I am Monica Mi-Yeon Chung. I am Korean female. I am here." "I have a question that wakes me up middle of the night." "You will find out that, after all, Korean men are humans too." "Does anyone or know anyone who used acupuncture to loose over 200lb?" "Make peace not flames." "I am poor as a church mouse. [Lulu]" "Humbleness is the key to success." "I always walk three steps behind men but they get irritated and nervous." "Happiness chases after me." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 34. Unresolved questions. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Where can I buy the book titled THE MONICA? 2. What is the name of the boonshikjeom (fancy restaurant) in New York Monica is rumored to recite her poetry now and then? 3. Is she for real? 4. How can I sponsor Monica's women's sumo wrestling team? -- Rachael Heja Seung * * I post. hseung@seas.upenn.edu \|/ \|/ Therefore, I am. |