| [ Fun ] in KIDS 글 쓴 이(By): soliton (김_찬주) 날 짜 (Date): 2004년 7월 7일 수요일 오후 07시 39분 58초 제 목(Title): The art of giving seminars 역시 같은 곳에서 퍼왔습니다. ========================= APPENDIX': THE ART OF GIVING SEMINARS In case you have to give a seminar to a crowd who has already read the previous appendix, we also give the following rules: (1) Avoid long questions. You might forget which one of you is the speaker, and sleeping on the projector is uncomfortable. (2) Bring your lunch. It will give you something to do while waiting for that sick person in the audience to stop coughing. Also, if somebody slurps their coffee at you, you can munch your celery right back at them. (3) Save your jokes for the middle of the seminar, not the beginning. The audience is already awake at the beginning (unless they're really advanced seminar jocks), and waiting for the jokes will keep them awake through the rest. Especially use a joke transparency at the end. (4) Write bigger and bigger [16] on each successive transparency. This makes the audience subconsciously expect that you are building to a big climax. Of course, if you don't have a big climax, then they'll just be sort of dazed at the end (but see (3)). (5) Use a pointer, and occasionally swing it towards the audience. Then they'll be afraid to fall asleep. (6) Make up special transparencies with answers to stupid questions. That will impress them, and saves time. Also, in answer to the question, immediately respond, ``Oh, that's on my next transparency,'' no matter where you happen to be keeping it. Then they'll wait before asking the next stupid question, by which time they'll be too embarassed to make you go back. (7) When answering smart questions, switch back and forth between transparencies and the blackboard. The lights getting switched on and off will drive them crazy, and so discourage further questions. At the very least, the person who's handling the lights will get tired and give up, and the audience will stop asking questions when they can't see the answers. (8) Put a shill in the audience to ask questions for which you've already prepared clever answers. Then he should say ``Oh!'' or ``I see!'' in a way that impresses the audience even if they didn't follow what was going on. (9) Have commercials every 15 minutes or so. (For example: ``Discount tickets to the inside of a black hole! Buy 2 and get a return ticket free! Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!'') Then they can get up and get another cup of coffee, go to the bathroom, etc. (10) Promise lower taxes. |