| From : guest (백년지객) Date : Tue Sep 29 14:25:45 1992 Subject: Dieter's Guide (Rated X) ====================== THE DIETER'S GUIDE TO WEIGHT LOSS DURING SEX ====================== ---------------------------------------------------------------- ACTIVITY CALORIES BURNED ACTIVITY CALORIES BURNED --------------------------------------------------------------- REMOVING CLOTHES: ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE: With partner's consent.....12 Shoes flew off...............35 Without partner's consent.187 Expression didn't change....1/2 Orchestra swelled.............6 UNHOOKING BRA: Birds sang Using two calm hands........7 Large birds..................7 Using one trembling hand...36 Small birds..................3 Earth moved..................30 Lifting partner............15 PULLING OUT: Dragging partner on floor..16 After orgasm................1/2 Using skateboard............3 A few moments before orgasm.500 ACHIEVING ERECTIONS: PENIS ENVY: For normal healthy man....2.5 For woman.....................3 Losing erection............14 For men......................72 Searching for it..........115 GUILT: PUTTING ON CONDOM: Despite no formal training, With erection.............1.5 orgasm comes easily..........53 Without erection..........300 You're enjoying sex,despite the fact that other people are INSERTING DIAPHRAGM: starving......................2 If the woman who does it is Sex on your lunch hour........3 Experienced.................6 Putting it on expense account.. Inexperienced..............73 20 If a man does it..........680 AGGRAVATION: Add (5) calories for retrieving Partner keeps showing plants..5 it from across the room. Partner insists on cuddling the dog during foreplay..........14 ACCORDING TO NATIONALITY: Partner visiting bathroom for Italian- Man on top,woman in 7th time.....................10 kitchen....................26 Partner taking phone calls....7 Russian- Woman on bottom, Partner making phone calls...40 Man getting permission.....55 American- Both on top......60 GETTING CAUGHT: By partner's spouse..........60 SIDE EFFECTS INTERCOURSE: By your spouse..............100 Bouncing....................7 Trying to explain............55 Sliding around..............9 Trying to remain calm.......100 Serious skidding...........12 Leaping out of bed...........75 Whiplash...................27 Getting dressed in one motion 500 Thanking partner quickly......2 ORGASM: Real.......................27 Faked.....................160 |