| [ EnglishOnly ] in KIDS 글 쓴 이(By): jhan (한바다 ) 날 짜 (Date): 1994년09월28일(수) 08시58분37초 KDT 제 목(Title): Now they call it "co-dependency." They used to call it love. Now, it's co-dependency. Love--the living for, in, through, of and with another--was once a godly emotion, worthy of the poet's labor, the artist's creation, the philosopher's brooding. Wars were fought in the name of love, civilizations destroyed and nations founded.... But love in the classic sense no longer exists. Compared to the emotions that inspired the Taj Mahal, the Rubaiyat of the Mona Lisa, what we now call love seems sanitized, de-bugged and plastic- coated. We are proud of having demystified love. Neatly packaged and labeled, we now sell what Dante once called the "power that moves the sun and other stars" as "intimacy," "commitment" or "communica- tion" in group sessions, private counseling and at the local bookstore. What doesn't fit this mold is diagnosed as "additive," "compulsive," "dysfunctional" or "pathological." The only "healthy" form of love we are taught today is SELF-love.... Best sellers tell us that "Women Who Love Too Much" end up with men who suffer from the "Peter Pan Syndrome" or are "Men Who Can't Love." We learn that "Learning to Love Yourself" helps to avoid making "Wrong Choices," and that "Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love" is the map to finding "The Road Less Travelled." Buzzword is co-dependency. [One] family counselor ... believes that the relationship of two "inseparable" people who must be together is "co-dependency," which--among other scary things--is a "syptom of abandonment" often coupled with "sexual addiction." ... In this sensible, self-sufficient and salubrious world of ours, the existence of another as the reason for our own is no longer necessary. We grow babies in test tubes, see and gear ourselves in movies and on tapes and proudly satiety our needs and wants alone. We no longer see ourselves reflected on the soul of another. A mirror does just fine.... --by Elfriese H. Kristwald, LA Times, Wed., Feb. 14, 1990 Did I have addictive-compulsive emotions with the dysfunctional ties of co- dependency and sexual addiction when I loved you? No, I don't think so. Waiting for you... -------------------------------------------- 혹시라도 어쩌다가 아픔같은 것이 저며올 때는 그럴 땐 바다를 생각해 바다 ... ----- 김민기의 <봉우리> 중에서 ----------- J jhan@ucsd.edu |